Smart solution

A sudden ailment in the family could throw everyone off balance. The idea is not to feel helpless and give up but try utmost to make the best of the worst. A reader tells us of his father’s sudden loss of hearing and how he coped with it.

I wanted to share how I dealt with a situation recently when my father had Sudden Deafness in both ears. I am sharing this hoping that someone in a similar situation may benefit from my experience. My father (73 years old) had lost hearing in one ear several years ago. But he was able to manage all the same as the hearing in the other ear was alright. Last winter in Delhi, his ears were suddenly blocked after he went for an early morning walk and he lost hearing in the other one too.

I saw him age more than 10 years in just a few weeks due to this occurence. His voice changed (for the worse) and he looked fragile and depressed. This was partly because he was cut off from all conversations happening around him at home and secondly, because of ‘sympathetic’ visitors. All the relatives who came to visit him looked more grim than he did, almost making him feel like it was the end of life for him. It was difficult for meto see him in that condition, as I have always seen my father as an active person. He is usually in charge of everything and goes out of his way to help everyone.

Preferring to stay optimistic we visited the doc who did a hearing test. Dad was given steroids as that was the only treatment available. He was asked to take steroids for few weeks, post which the doctor would do a hearing test and depending on the percentage of improvement, decide whether to make him use a hearing aid. The other option, Cochlear Implant, was ruled out as dad was quite old and it isn’t a commonly practiced surgery on elderly people. Since at this point there was no guarantee of getting his hearing back, dad was rather depressed. Being optimistic, I kept telling him not to lose heart and most importantly told everyone around not to make him feel that he was unwell. To make him feel involved, I carried my laptop everywhere, including all the hospitals that we visited. I would then type what the doctors said so that my dad could respond and communicate with them directly. This may have annoyed some doctors but I could see that my dad felt good that he knew everything that was being talked about, what options were available and clear his doubts himself, so I did it anyway. My biggest worry was how to talk to him after I returned to Bangalore. I usually speak to my parents once every 12 hours, even though it’s usually a half a minute conversation to just ask how they are. I could not imagine a morning not being able to talk to him.

Fortunately, Google Talk came to our rescue. Dad already knew how to use a computer, i.e. switching on and off and getting to the games section. So I got him a datacard and taught him how to use gTalk. Thankfully, he was a focused and fast learner and figured it out in three to four hours and after few practice sessions with me in Delhi. On my return to Bangalore, we had regular chats with him on gTalk. My sister in Boston, who had been worried about not been able to communicate with him was also excited to to be able connect with dad and we ensured we kept his practice up. Because his typing was slow and he was uncomfortable with the keyboard, we would type and he would read it then and then answer us on the phone which was kept glued to our ear. It worked wonderfully and kept him happy. He knew what was going on, what his grandsons were up to and was able to tell us how his visits to the doctor went, instead of us having to hear it from another person.

A few weeks down the line, he regained his hearing in one of the ears much to our relief. The doctors had said that steroids were the only options and that his hearing could get back with them and we are thankful that happened. He was being treated by Dr. Jasuja of Ashok Vihar, Delhi and he was helpful. But what helped us most was giving my dad some sort of connectivity with us all during his days of sudden deafness. I believe it helped in his recovery in some way, at least mentally.

— Pankaj Jain